AI cancer cures slowed by chip shortage, says UK's biggest tech boss

The script

Panel 1

Alex, a beaming inventor in his cluttered lab, is hunched over a computer screen. Sam, standing next to Alex, looks at the screen.

Alex: Alright, Sam! I've just programmed the AI to start analyzing all the cancerous tissue samples we've collected! The algorithms are already processing at a blazing speed, and I'm confident it'll lead to groundbreaking cures soon!

Sam: Yeah, right. Sam, remember the last time you thought you had a big breakthrough? You were so sure you could make the robots clean themselves. Turns out, you couldn't even get the robot to move a paperclip without help.

Alex: But Sam, this is different! The AI is supercharged with quantum computing chips! They're the future of data processing!

Panel 2

Alex: And with these quantum chips, we can process all the cancer data and find the cure much faster! Sam, do you think we can get some of those quantum chips by now? Please?

Sam: I don't know, Alex. I mean, if you could make a robot clean itself, I'm not sure I'd trust you with quantum chips.

Panel 3

A shot of a factory, with factory workers frantically trying to produce the quantum chips.

Sam: I mean, they're still in short supply. Maybe you should try a more conventional approach for now?

Alex: Oh, Sam, you're just being pessimistic. Remember, I found the secret to a self-cleaning robot. I'm sure I can find a way to clean them all myself too!

Panel 4

Alex is seen now with a mop in his hand, trying to clean robots. The robots are covered in robot oil and are not responding.

Alex: Well, if I can't find the quantum chips, I'll just clean them myself and make it work! It'll be a piece of cake, I'm sure of it!

Sam: Uh, Alex? Maybe you should find the quantum chips after all.

Panel 5

(Alternate ending):

Alex: Well, I guess I'll just have to keep trying. But next time, I'll start by finding the quantum chips, not by trying to clean robots without them.

Sam: Yeah, next time. And you can use me as a test dummy for the robot-cleaning experiment.

Panel 6

(Alternate ending): Alex and Sam are now seen happily working together in the lab, with the AI cancer cure software running smoothly on the computer screen.

Alex: Alright, Sam. Let's find those quantum chips, and then we can start solving cancer together!

Sam: Great, let's do that Alex. I'll even clean your robot for you.

Panel 7

(Alternate ending): Alex and Sam are seen now with a bag of quantum chips, smiling as they set up the AI cancer cure software.

Alex: Here, Sam. Let's solve cancer once and for all.

Sam: Absolutely, Alex. And I'll clean your robot next time too.

Panel 8

(Alternate ending): The final panel shows Alex and Sam hugging as the AI cancer cure software starts running.

Alex: We've got this!

Sam: Let's make history, Alex.